A lot of times conversations with people on what is expected from them and what they’re expecting doesn’t go well. It’s not that we usually have bad people - it’s a mismatch between what a position demands and what a person wants to do and is capable of.

I had to add master data management to someone’s role recently. He didn’t want it. His eyes are on demand planning, that’s where he sees his future. I knew this conversation could go badly. “You need to do this task you don’t want” rarely lands well.

Instead, I tried separating the two: this position needs master data management task addition right now, it helps make it meaningful for the future for this department. Your interests? They aren’t this and point toward demand planning. Both things can be true at the same time.

You’re not wrong for not wanting to do this and wanting something different. The role just needs what it needs. You do that in that position till you’re ready and the your dream position opens up. When it does, you move.

The conversation went smoother than I expected. Separating position from person changes the entire framing. I think it makes the other person see their role and aspirations from a 3rd person lens for a second. Every time I’m needed to have a tough conversation with someone, this is the framing I’m resorting to till the time I find something better.

• There is nothing quite so useless, as doing with great efficiency, something that should not be done at all - Peter Drucker

• Displacement not distance

• Get out or Shut up and fix it

• It’s important to be fair and even more important to be perceived as someone who is fair - Manish Sharma

• You don’t postpone or transfer the problem, once you know it exists you acknowledge it and address it, even if the problem is a person - Dheeraj Arora

It was a normal Monday until an induction schedule landed in my inbox. The role was still occupied in the system. No resignation. The business unit head hadn’t been told. I knew immediately what this would trigger. My team member in that unit would carry the fallout, even though none of it was his doing. I called the business unit head. We both knew change was coming, just not like this. Not announced accidentally in an email thread.

As someone later put it: “You never know when you’re inducting your own replacement.”

A couple of weeks later, I met my team member in person. I thanked him for always going beyond the call of duty and gave him a certificate and a pair of cuff links, something small, but deliberate.

He said it meant a lot.

He was already interviewing. He’d put down his papers.

We retained him. We didn’t even need to match the offer, he wanted to stay. The gesture mattered. But what mattered more was repairing the uncertainty that entered that Monday morning.

Uncertainty spreads faster than intent. Timing and action decide which one wins.

I was in Guwahati the other day meeting customers with my team. My team were taking me to the tough parties. They kept the toughest party at the last. The one who didn’t even want to talk

We went up to him, he was busy, clearly not interested in talking to us. We waited for 15 min for him to finish his phone calls and other work that he was doing. After that he pounced on us. Different allegations that we were in no way supportive and should stop coming there. We listened to his rant for 15 minutes after which he asked us to have tea

I don’t usually have tea, particularly outside, told him that. He insisted, said we make it in house. I said I’ll have only because he asked me to. I finished my tea and we ended up chatting for ten minutes on random things. We were about to leave, he apologized for being rude. I told him it’s okay, I understand where he was coming from

We walked out, I started wearing my shoe, I was glad it wasn’t a laced one, didn’t have to bend down to tie my laces after a long conversation. My team started going down. I turned around, he was there standing and watching me. He was smiling and seeing me off.

This time he had time for us and next time he might have an order

Starting a new role is a bit like getting married. The honeymoon phase is full of smiles and polite curiosity, but everyone’s quietly wondering - will this actually work, or are we just figuring it out as we go?

It rarely comes down to the big promises. More often, it’s the small, everyday things - the way you really listen when someone explains how things work here, how you adapt when reality doesn’t match your expectations, how you keep showing up even when the initial excitement fades.

It’s less about the vows on day one, and more about the rhythm you slowly build together - the quiet understanding that emerges from a hundred small exchanges, the trust that grows from being present in the unglamorous moments.

Perhaps that’s what makes any beginning last: not the grand gestures, but the patient work of learning each other’s language.